Dream--Ignoring meetings with Reza

I was in this group meeting of some sort, and there was a dude there who seemed to be an old love of mine. He reminded me of Reza from Dreamfall, and the situation was somewhat similar, that he was close with the main character but they were no longer romantically involved, though there was still great affection. He was pretty happy to see me, and I was glad to see him, and I sat with him, and he loosely seemed to have his arm around me, keeping me close. It was comfortable. There was a girl around who seemed intent on taking me out. Or something. I think she was the same one who was trying to get me to pack up the belongings of someone who seemed to have to go. She was putting stuff in my canvas bags for someone else to take, and I was a bit bothered by this, but eventually gave up, thinking I could just get another for dollar or so.

Eventually the other girl became somewhat violent toward me, and she had this metal pen—it was one I had from my grandmother after her death, and I showed her how to take it apart, even though she was intent on getting the ink nib to come out so she could stab me with it. I’m not sure if I struck her or anything, but she hit me in the head with the pen several times, but there was no pain. It seemed like she was jealous of my closeness with the Reza-ish character.

All this was taking place in a huge building, white, well lit and full of skylights, kind of like how one would expect a mall to look—though I’ve never been in a mall like it, with a large ground floor and a ring of walkways on the second floor. I’ve had a few dreams of being in malls like that, come to think of it, and that’s how the mall was set up in Silent Hill 2 (the dreams were before I played the game, btw). After a fiasco of some sort involving the violent girl, I went to a meeting where the Reza-ish character would be, and as usual, he was tucked back in a corner on a desktop PC of some sort, and I sat in a chair next to him, the chairs being drawn directly beside one another so that we appeared to be huddling together.

When I woke up, I thought he was the ninja, except that I remembered some kind of thought process going on in my head apart from the dream but about the dream, and in the dream I’d thought he was kind of like Reza.

Waking induced Lucid Dreams: Say it with me, "Hells yeah."

SO, after the awesomeness of having the book about OBE’s pretty much pushed at me, I read about half of it last night—but the first half was all about experiences that people had. After waking up and logging my sleeping dreams, I laid back down and relaxed, hoping to initiate an OBE of my own. While I’m not sure about that, I did somehow manage to hang on to my consciousness as my body dropped back and back and back into sleep.

I asked for the vibrational state to happen—where one’s body begins to hum, on the edge of waking and sleep, and heard whispering. I heard a particular voice, and it sounded a bit distorted, as if it was coming to me through something with a particular shape that gave it a echo-ey resonance. Male, female, I’m not sure. It said, “Is she ready?” and then said other things that I think were instructions to me, but might have been directed at others.

While I don’t think I had an out of body experience, I did have lucid dreams induced from a waking state, and that is pretty freakin awesome. I did use a few things from the book from people’s experiences with OBE’s, namely, asking for clarity, and keeping calm when I would close my eyes in the dream and have to figure out how to open my eyes again without doing it physically, because that would wake me up.

A strange thing about the lucid dreams was how real everything felt. I walked around my mom’s house, knowing that my eyes were closed, but I could see everything clearly, but a bit differently, like the patterns on the floor were shimmering and shifting, but I physically felt myself walking, touching walls.

In another, the one I remember the best, there was a boy, maybe 12-14, sitting on top of a church. When I called to him, he took off, so I climbed the building and often had to edge myself sideways, marveling at the feel of the red stone and brick that the church was made of and how balanced I was with only an inch or two of anything to hang onto. I got to the rooftop, which was a really neat roof, covered with stones and grasses, more like it was a hilltop than a church roof.

There was nothing to hang onto, so I lifted one of the flat stones up to hold onto what was beneath it. I reached my hand down into a crevice and my hand touched a stick broken from a tree and it felt absolutely real. I looked at the stick for a moment, turning it over in my hand, amazed at how real it felt. I figured I was ready to try to fly, because I’d been doubting if I could get myself to do it, and my feet left the edge they were upon and my body ended up flipping in the air because I hadn’t let go with my hands. There was an acolyte’s… thingy there. The one I used as an acolyte was a long rod, and one side has an empty brass bell on it for snuffing candles, and the other side has a long tube through which a wick is run so that the wick can be lit to light candles that are high up. This wasn’t the whole rod though, it was just the end of it, and this one was silver, tarnished black.

I found an area to get inside the highest part of the building, and the kid was hiding there, in this haphazard wooden room, unfinished and warm. He looked different, and I saw a side by side photo comparison of him with blonde hair and him with light brown hair. He was much older with the darker hair than I initially thought, and seemed to think we were playing hide and seek of some sort. He grinned and climbed out of the place. I followed him but I’m not sure if I caught up to him again.

A few times my cell phone, with its dying battery, beeped, and I would jump back into awareness of my physical body. I also lost conscious awareness a couple times, so things aren’t as clear in my memory as they were earlier, so I am forgetting some things. I probably spent a good two hours in a lucid dreaming state. I remember everything in my vision spinning, and I was trying to look around while I was spinning to see what was around, but I don’t recall.

One issue about the lucid dreaming is that while I’m aware that I am dreaming, I don’t have the awareness that I can readily shape the world around me and go anywhere I want. Instead I seem to find myself in a situation and I play through it rather than go create or explore my own little wonderland. In any event, this is freaking AWESOME. I can’t remember what book I read that had it, but Waking Induced Lucid Dreams—or WILDs were things I never thought I’d be able to experience. I can imagine myself spending days just lying around lucid dreaming.

But OBEs are definitely the goal of the moment. It may take a few months, but I’ll get it eventually.

Dreams--Goddard and cereal, Now with insects!

Night before last: Woke up remembering energy of some type being channeled in a sort of infinity loop. It was being explained to me that when it hit the bottom it would bounce back up, so there were two flows of energy, a doubling back (an echo of waking up the other day to someone saying "The flux capacitor has to double back on itself to stabilize."). This took place in a pale blue room, and someone was explaining to me that Goddard had figured this out. I woke up thinking "Goddard? The rocket inventor?" and then thought how the hell do I remember that anyway?

Last night's dream: I was eating granola-ish cereal out of the box, and was mulling over an almond or something with my teeth while reading the ingredients to make certain there weren't any objectionable ingredients in the cereal. "mm hmm, bran flakes, corn syrup, insects, raisins--Insects?" I spit out my chewage, looking at it very closely, trying to make sure I didn't inadvertently chomp some grasshopper leg or something. I was trying to imagine what insects they'd use, then checked the other flavor of cereal in the grocery bag to see if it had insects too, but it had whey anyway. Boo.

Periodic Table of People

The periodic table of elements contained people, and it wasn’t like “har har, Molly Bdenum, I get it” but it was sort of like a set up of windows or screens through which people could be seen with various attributes listed.

Also something with a little girl with a teddy bear in a building, but the teddy bear is alive somehow

“Such is the life of a child of God in the kingdom of Earth…”

About a month ago, I had a dream that I was watching my old roommate Pamma try to make her way somewhere by plane. It would have been a short enough trip, but for some reason, she kept getting rerouted and ended up flying all over the country. I saw a map with a travelling red line, Indiana Jones style, bouncing from Austin, Texas to Washington D.C, to New York and so on. And quite clearly, I saw that this would happen on July 27^th. Which is today.

Today, I had another dream about watching someone I know travel. This time it was Cait, wandering the streets of a small town in France. With only a backpack, she walked winding streets, sat in outdoor cafés, reading a book, then leaving it at the table for someone else to find. There was no room to carry a book, no room for excess baggage. There was a sort of narrator, and I’m not sure if it was me or a male voice, narrating this in an overly dramatic tone, with sort of melancholy description. She was a traveler walking in a land without knowing the custom, etiquette or language, unable to connect and communicate fully. “Such is the life of a child of God in the kingdom of Earth,” the narrator said, and the camera moved overhead, lifting, until we saw the top of Cait’s head moving through a busy street, and then lost her amongst the people, losing the street in the labyrinthine paths of the town, until the camera turned suddenly upwards, breaking through the blue of the atmosphere and out into the stars.

That was one dream. Another was one in which I was absent, but there was something to do with a metal ball that if it was held in some way, a strange blade would jump out of it, into the hand that held it, kind of Phantasm-esque.

Siblings on a bus

The night before last, I woke with just one thing from a dream going through my mind: “The flux capacitor has to double back on itself to stabilize.” Later in the day, the ninja asked, seemingly out of the blue, what a flux capacitor does, and then last night I woke up and he was talking in his sleep. He said “Two/More brains equal more energy.”

But anyway, my dream. I was with someone and then there were about five kids at a bus stop, and the bus stopped and we all got on. I somehow made it seem like they were my kids so that I would be able to get onto the bus, and there were some bus scenes that I don’t recall. In one of them, one of the kids said “How do people know we’re siblings? Do we even look anything alike?” to which everyone on the bus said “Yes,” and nodded in unison. I studied the siblings’ features, though I don’t remember any of their whole faces. Their noses were rather delicate and small, and slightly turned up. I think they had dark blonde hair for the most part, and I know there was at least one boy and one toddler but I don’t recall the genders of the other children.

Mom and I take a trip to the nursery

I was with my mom at a nursery, and we had gone to the cashier but there was a bit of a line. I looked down and saw that I had gotten a clump of unripened raspberries caught in the laces of my shoe. On second look, I saw that one of the berries seemed to be ripe, so I plucked it off and offered it to my mom. There were more that were ripe if I tipped the bunch back, and I ended up shooing a few bugs away as I did so.

There was a teeny spider on my hand, and I shook my hand a bit and it ended up jumping or getting flung to this standing display or wall or something. I said something like thanks little guy, you looked a bit shiny? I meant that he looked like his bite would pack a little wallop. He was little, golden and the abdomen looked a bit transparent, like he was full of liquid. He didn’t look like a spider I’ve regularly seen.

I think I might have set the raspberry on my mom’s shoulder to get it to her and still have time to shake off the spider. Later in the dream, I was in the produce section of Wal-Mart or Meijer, and I was wearing a red shirt and black pants as if I worked at Meijer. I kept catching glimpses of myself in the mirror and I thought that I was becoming like my mother, and I tried to figure out how I felt about that.

It’s something I’ve always railed against, in that it used to seem to me like my mom didn’t “do much” with her life, in that she’s lived in Saginaw/Zilwaukee her whole life, and while she did take a few college level courses, she didn’t continue with it. And now she’s been working at Meijer, unloading trucks for the last ten years. But it’s enough to do what she’s been doing. It’s enough to have plants and gardens and chickens and ducks and cats and parakeets and guinea pigs, and she doesn’t want to have to work more just so she can have more money. She’d like to win the lottery, but her time is more important to her than money.

And really, I’ve realized that I’m the same way. Working for money has always been something that I just don’t click with. Anytime I’ve worked, I’ve ended up rather enjoying my job (except working at the grill in the mornings) because it gave me time to think and laugh and practice something. True, if I wasn’t being paid I wouldn’t have volunteered for those things, but money wasn’t the only thing I got out of them.

I think the raspberries are kind of like how my mom lives. She has all these things she wishes to do, but she has to wait to do them all, saving up and waiting until her time is ripe. And it’s kind of like me too, except I’m not saving up to do the things I’d like to do. I’m just waiting in a way because it always feels like something big is coming. It doesn’t mean I’m not doing things in the meantime, though.